


Beta Set

by SLq



Series: Word Sets [2]
Category: X -エックス- | X/1999
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-24
Updated: 2016-02-24
Packaged: 2018-05-22 22:03:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6095417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SLq/pseuds/SLq
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Seishirou thinks in starts and stutters. Mostly, he thinks of Subaru.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beta Set

**1\. Walking** \- The earth swallows his steps greedily. The Tree pulses with want; its gnarled roots twist beneath the young onmyoji's feet, hungry and covetous.

The naive awe in the child's face draws the Sakurazukamori forward. The light in his eyes keeps Seishirou anchored, on his knees, before the one destined to be his end.

 **2\. Waltz** \- Seishirou wonders if Subaru will ever realize that he is the one leading their dance. Death always follows life, after all.

 **3\. Wishes** \- Useless things.

 **4\. Wonder** \- Subaru's eyes were filled with it, back when he was a part of a matched set and the Sakurazukamori wore a white coat and a gentle smile.

 **5\. Worry** \- Seishirou stands over a broken body and tries to breathe through the violence singing in his blood. The man is dead, neck forced into a grotesque angle by Seishirou's hands. The shadow of the Sakurazukamori is slow to leave Seishirou's mind.

Train tracks twist around them, sunk ladders leading nowhere.

 **6\. Whimsy** \- The Bet.

 **7\. Waste/Wasteland** \- The world beyond Tokyo is disappointingly dull. On an assignment in a busy metropolis half a world away, Seishirou thinks of green eyes and soft, black hair. He does not notice his target slipping away until it is too late to follow. The Sakurazukamori chooses to believe that had been the plan all along. Seishirou is not so certain.

 **8\. Whiskey and rum** \- Subaru's lips are sweet with it, his eyes heavy and warm. Seishirou drinks his own glass down to the bottom. His hands are clenched tight beneath the bartop - a fact he realizes only after Hokuto tips sideways from the barstool, forcing him to catch her. The girl giggles against his shoulder and Subaru grins, small and happy.

Seishirou calls the barman for another round.

 **9\. War** \- Subaru believes them enemies, but Seishirou knows the truth.

 **10\. Weddings** \- Subaru wears Seishirou's mark, as Seishirou does Subaru's. Their rings are mismatched, carved by magic and steel rather than wrought in gold. The meaning is the same.

 **11\. Birthday** \- The first time Seishirou celebrated a birthday the cake was neon-green and the setting, a sterile room that smelled vaguely of dog. Hokuto butchered the American 'Happy Birthday' song, voice bold and loud and completely off-tune. Subaru blushed and stammered a lot. They had gotten him a tie, of all things.

He still wears the tie.

 **12\. Blessing** \- People do not come to the Sakurazukamori for blessings. Hidden behind an illusion, Seishirou watches Subaru bless a newlywed couple's first home. The onmyoji's magic sinks into the ground, fills in empty spaces given to spawning darkness and malice. Seishirou coaxes a tiny sprite from the shadows of the surrounding woods and sends it scurrying toward Subaru. Once it gets within distance, Subaru lifts a foot and crushes the demon into nothing without pausing the chant. Seishirou smirks, and seeks another.

 **13\. Bias** \- Seishirou allows his Shikigami free reign of Tokyo's skies. They bring him souvenirs of their outings: fat mice and sleek squirrels, colorful birds of all kinds. Never doves.

 **14\. Burning** \- The knife twists in his eye. The pain is terrible, all-consuming - almost, but not quite enough. Seishirou wakes up in a hospital bed with the world half-gone and all-flat and wonders how deep the pain must go for him to feel it.

He finds his answer nine years later, a breath before Hokuto's dying spell reverses his own.

 **15\. Breathing** \- Late at night, Seishirou lies awake and listens to his opposite star gasp through nightmares.

 **16\. Breaking** \- The tiny, boring minivan Sakurazuka-sensei had driven through Tokyo turns up as a bundle of metal and plastic at the side of a deserted road several hours from the city. Seishirou laughs when he hears about it weeks later. He almost regrets leaving Tokyo - this Subaru, he can actually enjoy.

 **17\. Belief** \- Subaru used to believe in people. Busy molding the younger man into a suitably ruthless successor, the Sakurazukamori does not realize that he has started to believe in Subaru.

 **18\. Balloon** \- The Dragons of Earth's conference room looks morbidly cheery. Seishirou takes in the smiley-faced balloons, the cupcakes, the party hats, and slowly backs away.

"It's Nataku's birthday," KAMUI purrs in his ear. Seishirou suspects the teen had been lurking in the doorway just to have Seishirou bump into him. "We are having a party."

The Sakurazukamori opens his mouth. Something white and soft slithers up his right leg and twists meaningfully. His jaw snaps shut in a fake smile. "How fun," he intones.

The sound of heels clacking hurriedly away echoes in the hallway. "Nataku," KAMUI smirks, "Fetch."

Circulation resumes in Seishirou's leg. Nataku skips away, scarf bouncing cheerily in his wake.

Seishirou resigns himself to a strange day. "Will there be cake?"

KAMUI frowns like he has received the gravest of insults. "Of course there'll be cake."

Seishirou suppresses a sigh. "Lead the way."

 **19\. Balcony** \- Subaru's apartment does not have a balcony. That does not stop Seishirou from coming in through the living room window on rainy nights.

 **20\. Bane** \- The few people who know their story blame Seishirou for the ruin that is Subaru's life. The fault lies elsewhere, but Seishirou does not mind the burden. He sees it as a source of pride.

 **21\. Quiet** \- Their kisses are dark, furtive things. Easily forgotten in the light of day. Always repeated.

 **22\. Quirks** \- The cigarette hangs from his lips, the filter cold and bitter. Seishirou does not need it - not the act of smoking, not the rush of nicotine in his blood. The Sakurazukamori is free of habits, unruled by rituals and too-human quirks.

Several stories below, Sumeragi Subaru exits a convenience store. The plastic bag looped around his left arm contains a single pack of Marlboro's. Seishirou watches the younger man tear through the thin plastic. They light up, almost in sync; the cheap plastic lighter seems to be giving Subaru trouble. In time, twin trails of smoke curl over pale fingers. Subaru watches the sky and Seishirou watches Subaru.

The Sakurazukamori is free of habits, but he does indulge his few wants.

 **23\. Question** \- Subaru never asks the right questions.

 **24\. Quarrel** \- Hokuto said something about it, on a quiet afternoon identical to a hundred other the three of them had shared. Subaru had left the room to answer a phone call, and the conversation had faltered - briefly, comfortably. Then Hokuto had looked up from her magazine, and -

"You never fight," she accused, serious. Her eyes, sharp and unsmiling, had pinned Seishirou to his seat.

"What do you mean, Hokuto-chan?" The mask of the kind veterinarian seemed to stretch over Seishirou's face, uncomfortable and thin.

"You and Subaru." No change in tone, no warmth in her voice. The Sakurazukamori looked at her and saw danger - recognized a fellow predator among sheep. Hidden beneath the desk, his hands tightened with instinctual aggression. The need to engage was surprisingly strong.

"Is that a bad thing?" Seishirou had laughed instead, repeating worn lines from an overused script.

Hokuto seemed to have forgotten her own.

"People fight," she had said in that same detached voice. "They get angry with each other. Because they are real people with real wants that don't always match up."

Seishirou's smile gained an edge. "Hokuto-chan, I assure you: Subaru-kun and I are perfectly matched." Hokuto continued to look at him, saying nothing.

Subaru had walked in then, and that had been that. Much, much later, Seishirou would question whether it had happened at all. Of course, by that time it hardly mattered - Hokuto-chan was no more, Subaru-kun was gone, and Seishirou-sensei had never existed.

Seishirou wondered if any of them had been real.

 **25\. Quitting** \- Seishirou is willful enough to make quitting anything both easy and unthinkable. The thought of quitting Subaru never once passed through his mind.

 **26\. Jump** \- Magic gathers at the Sakurazukamori's feet, guiding his flight over rooftops and down dark, deserted streets. There is no fear in him, not of heights and not of people. Still, every time Seishirou jumps, he wonders if he will break at last.

 **27\. Jester** \- The day Seishirou meets Kigai Yuuto, he realizes that Death is not always the worst card to draw.

 **28\. Jousting** \- Hokuto had brought an old history book to the clinic, once. She had been taken with the romantic myth of European knights, sighed over dashing heroes and distressed heroines. Subaru had found the entire thing barbaric, jousting tournaments and righteous crusades and all.

A week later, Hokuto trotted in wearing a dress that was a mash of 14th century British Royal Court and a kimono. Subaru refused to come in at first but was, of course, cajoled and assuaged until he stepped inside, jingling all the way.

"Very..." Seishirou valiantly tried not to stare at the tights stretched over shapely legs. "...dashing." Hokuto crowed in delight.

Subaru's cheeks pinked. He did not utter a word the entire visit, but Seishirou caught him sneaking glances his way.

 **29\. Jewel** \- The world does not deserve him. Neither does Seishirou, but that means little to a man of no morals.

 **30\. Just** \- "once."

His breath burned against Seishirou's throat - no, his teeth, the heat of his lips. "Just once, Seishirou-san," he begged and that. That was enough.

"I am not him, Subaru-kun," he said. "I never was."

The body in his arms tensed. A moment later, his own grew cold with the absence of the other's.

"Sakurazukamori," Subaru spat, like a curse. Seishirou bowed his head with a smile.

"That, I am."

The surprise that filled green eyes startled something in Seishirou. Then Subaru was gone, and Seishirou shook thoughts of lost possibilities away.

 **31\. Smirk** \- Seishirou wore smiles like knives.

 **32\. Sorrow** \- They will never be. Then again, they never were to begin with. Seishirou does not understand why he finds the thought unpleasant.

 **33\. Stupidity** \- The knife had not been meant for him. There was no need to take the blade for Subaru, not when the Bet's end had been so close - not when a spell would have shattered the steel to silver dust. Yet he had.

"You turned metaphorical blindness into literal blindness," Hokuto's ghost tutted when Seishirou visited her grave, nine years after he put her there. Seishirou struck back with some comment or another about Subaru, making her disappear in a huff.

 **34\. Serenade** \- The screeching cry of a hawk means something to Seishirou and Subaru.

 **35\. Sarcasm** \- Seishirou speaks truths wrapped as lies.

 **36\. Sordid** \- Their story does not belong in books. It is best forgotten, like their existence, the world they walked.

 **37\. Soliloquy** \- Seishirou quickly figured out that the safest way to hold a conversation with KAMUI was to let the man talk at will.

He sincerely hoped that he did not come off as obsessed with his own opposite Star.

 **38\. Sojourn** \- Seishirou must leave but he will always, always return.

 **39\. Share** \- "Would you like some, Seishirou-san?"

Seishirou's gaze flickers from shy green eyes down to the box held out in offer. A single, pink pocky stick rests within the carton.

A wide, sunny smile stretches the veterinarian's lips.

"Perhaps we can share?"

Subaru promptly drops the box.

 **40\. Solitary** \- The marks Seishirou left on Subaru's hands were meant to guide him to his prey. On lost, rainy nights, they feel more like a beacon home.

 **41\. Nowhere** \- Seishirou knows where his path leads. That is why he is so vehement that Subaru does not follow.

 **42\. Neutral** \- Being the Sakurazukamori affords Seishirou an unbiased view on life.

It does not diminish the pull of Sumeragi Subaru's alien kindness.

 **43\. Nuance** \- Seishirou learns to imitate emotion through careful observation and meticulous practice. No nuance of human interaction is lost to him - which is why, moments after meeting Sumeragi Subaru for the second time, he decides to play the young boy's admirer. That choice wins him the Bet.

Years later, it costs him his life.

 **44\. Near** \- Even when Seishirou was a world away, his touch lived in Subaru's skin.

 **45\. Natural** \- They met in an illusion - in a nightmare of magic and blood. Seishirou never felt anything as natural again as long as he lived.

 **46\. Horizon** \- When Seishirou's star falls over the horizon, he wants Subaru's to take its place.

 **47\. Valiant** \- Seishirou played the Knight in Shining Armor more than once during the year of the Bet. The murders he committed for Subaru's sake always felt righteous.

 **48\. Virtuous** \- Despite the bruised eyes and pallid skin, Subaru remains as pure as Seishirou remembers. Seishirou is pleased, until the night virtuous guilt costs Subaru his eye. Too much of anything, even kindness, is a sin.

 **49\. Victory** \- The raw rush of emotion that floods Seishirou's mind moments before his heart stops for good is worth every bit of guilt, sadness, and self-directed anger he feels.

 **50\. Defeat** \- Seishirou knows who won the Bet. As the Sakurazukamori, he feels no guilt over lying - not to himself or to Subaru-kun.

 


End file.
